You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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