I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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