people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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