I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
