I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
