i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
