Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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