there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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