I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
