2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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