I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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