Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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