Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize