Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
