It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize