Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
