Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
