I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We have so much sex to catch up on
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
