check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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