i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
love makes seman taste better
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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