i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
