So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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