Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
