Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
