So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I can't put those talents on a resume
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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