don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
