and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
