We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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