Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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