I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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