it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
