iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I had to cum in my sink.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
