Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
