i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
