I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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