She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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