It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
