Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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