ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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