Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
