New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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