with your own penis?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
