I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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