if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
