you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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