Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
