people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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