Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
