Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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