I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize