i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
