just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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