I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
