Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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