Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
