Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
