Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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