Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sorry my hands just texted you
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
