do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
