you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I love having hate sex.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
false alarm, still single
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