Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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