just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
