Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
