you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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