I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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