Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
