Me too!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
