So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
