my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
