Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
